Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
