I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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