I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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