He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She told me I should be a condom model.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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