3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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