I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize