I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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