tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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