So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Randomize
