omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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