You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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