Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
