i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
