Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
