he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Your penis caused this!
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
