I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
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So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
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I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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