hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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