dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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