Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
