...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
