I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
don't judge my taste in strippers
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
