And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
