I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
