nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
