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my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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