I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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