you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
