My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
