well I can't set my house on fire every night
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I need water and some morals
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
