she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
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He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
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All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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