Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
