lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
