Someone shit on the floor
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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