she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
