There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
