Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
