do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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