pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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