she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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