My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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