She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
