Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
