Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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