she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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