Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Come on in and take your pants off
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