Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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