Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
