I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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