Taylor Swift is so right about you.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
where are you?
Hypothermia
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
