Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
