Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize