I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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