Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
