whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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