marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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