You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
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