you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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