I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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