The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
