I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
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