i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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