So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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