Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
