Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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